OH....I forgot I had this blog! :?  Not really!  The truth is, my mind has been going around in circles and I didn't want to confuse you!!!  ( I have been :P)   After all the circling, I find my self tired and at a standstill in life!  I guess when I was married I never put much thought into "what happens next?"  You just go through life and do what married people do!  I never thought about what happens when your divorced!  I don't think you really think about those things when you DO get married, like "when this is over, I'm going to............."  Finding myself as a single mom, that never finished her career, in a new town with limited friends and job opportunities was NEVER a thought, BUT that is where I am!  I spent a lot of time praying before divorce became a reality.  Where do I go, what do I do?  And it came around so fast, it's hard to believe it's been a year ago!  I found, what I thought would be a good job, a great place to live and I have had a wonderful man in my life for 8 mths now....but I struggle raising an 8 yr old by myself!  Don't get me wrong, if it wasn't for my mom helping me with my daughter, I don't know what I would have done!  I know I want more out of life than where I am now, I thought I could be content with the way things are, NOT!  So my first step, is to pray and look to God for my purpose.  I have decided to go back to school and finish my degree!!!  I want to be able to provide for my daughter a great life and opportunities as she grows older!  I want to be proud of myself and hold my head up high when I walk into a room.....feel like a winner!!!!  I want to walk toward the future with a smile on my face, instead of waking up everyday wondering what brick is going to hit me today!  Now I question...Is East Tx where I need to be?  Do I sign another years lease on the house I'm in?  Do I invest in a local college or seek other avenues???  So, I will continue to pray and let God show me where I need to be!

WOW!!!  What a Monday this Tuesday has been!!!  After a great weekend with friends and plenty of sleep last night, I was ready for a great day!!!!!  Did some thinking and soul searching, came up with a game plan and some goals and BAM!!!!!!!!!!  I've had bricks thrown at me all day!!!!!!!  I think maybe I should take myself STRAIGHT home, go to bed and restart tomorrow!!!
     I feel like my life is at a stand still or maybe I'm still dragging the past around with me!  All I know is things have got to change, I have to move forward!  My last blog was about putting "me" first and I haven't had much success in that so far!  I don't have a clue where I'm going or what I'm doing!  So what do I do when I get to this place in life?  I kneel and pray, ask for direction and trust in him to get me there!!!  I know there is a better life for me and Tay, I just have to find it, one day at a time!

YIPPEE!!!!  Found my password to my blog!!!  I don't know about you but I am SO ready for school to start!  My schedule has been so OFF this whole summer!  Isn't it funny how you work the same hours at work, but it seems so unbalanced when the kids are out of school!  It's almost like New Years...new goals when school starts back up!!  Hope everyone had a great summer!  If you have been putting off getting back into shape, this is a good time to do it!  Nothing like looking HOT in some jeans!!!  I started back about 2 weeks ago, REALLY getting serious!  My diet had improved and I have added morning cardio to my routine along with making sure I don't skip my weight days, even it means working out at home!  The most important thing is putting myself first!  You may be thinking, how do I do that with kids, spouses, boyfriends/girlfriends ect?  It amazing what a better person, mother and spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend you become!!!  Try it for a week, give yourself a chance and see how much better you become!

Day 4 of getting my diet back in check and all my workouts in!!!!  It's a process you have to ease into, especially if your not used to working out and dieting!  I hate to call it dieting, rather a lifestyle change!  What you put in your mouth is the biggest part of getting in shape and being healthy!  You will have set backs, but never stop or give up........you will get there!  I know I will, and the more consistent I am, the more results I see!  The weekend will be upon me as of tomorrow and that will be my biggest challenge!!!!

Back on the wagon again this week!  The "Fitness" wagon!  I do fairly well through the week and then BAM, here's the weekend and only a few cheats and all I worked for all week is gone!  I didn't have NEAR this much of a problem last year getting where I wanted to be, why is it so hard this time?  The simple answer is:  I should have never let myself get to this point!  It came on gradually, so slow I think I tried to just ignore it!  I'm only 10lbs. over what I was last year, but for me, that's TOO much!  Stress can do a lot of damage to ones soul and body!  Not having an accountability partner has played a big role in my decline!  I also used to teach 7-10 classes a week <- that was HUGE!  My metabolism just flat crashed landed!  I have a long road ahead and I know I have to rely on ME to get it done!  Managing my calorie intake vs. output!  I realized I also need to add more cardio!  MOST important is to manage my choices of food over the weekends!  Weight lifting is going good, it's my favorite workouts!  So, I will be adding morning cardio sessions on T, TH and Fridays and watching my diet closely on the weekends.................I MUST DO THIS!!!!!!!  I may look ok to others, but I know where I have been and I know how to get there, so I need to GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I decided I will use my blog as my accountability partner! :P

Jealousy........I think is the worst of the deadly sins!!!  More people get hurt due to jealousy!  Emotionally and in many cases physically!  Everyday you hear someone get hurt or dying and it always reverts back to jealousy!  It causes problems in the work place, the home and in our families!  "For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice"~ James 3:16  I have never known anyone to be jealous of me, but I have recently discovered that I now have that "one" in my life!  I kind of already knew, but it has come to surface itself recently!  Some things have been said and their actions have bothered me a bit, but I have been shaking it off and moving on!  Something happened this last week that really upset me and I work with this person!  I like my job, but not sure I can shake this one off, knowing it could get worse!  Do I stay, or seek other employment?  A good friend of mine is going through the same thing with an EX wife of her boyfriends!  I wish I could help her, but I'm a little stuck on this subject myself! I guess the best thing to do is pray and hope that whatever happens is what is meant to be!  If another job opportunity comes up better, that would be my sign to move on!  As for my friend, I guess I would let life be and go with what ever is placed in front of me!  Sometimes doing nothing is the best choice!

Well, it's Monday!  Had another great weekend!  So, I can't quite figure out why I am so blank today!  Ever have those days when you think about nothing?  Maybe it's the minds way of "resting" because there sure is a lot I could be thinking about today!  So I logged onto my old church website and watched the sermon from the weekend, it was about waiting.......maybe that's what I'm doing today, waiting on the next great thing to happen or not!  It was about what to do while waiting!  1) Wait Prayerfully: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God" Philipians 4:6  2) Wait Actively: whatever your prayers are, do more things towards the answers to your prayers "me" 3) Wait Patiently: Sometimes God has you wait on the things you think you want, to get you the things he knows you want!  God's delays are not God's denials!  Love it!!!!   So, now I realize, I do have a lot on my mind and felt much better when I didn't!  So I will wait, do what lies ahead!  Sometimes we worry about what can go wrong instead of just living day by day and being thankful for the day we have!  So live today like no other!

Had trouble deciding what I was to blog about today!  I usually blog about something I have heard or read or something a friend may be going through, but everything seems calm in the world today!  So, this blog is about my thoughts!  My life has really been a whirl wind the last 9 months!  I met a fantastic guy about 5 months ago, almost to good to be true!  It seems he is always taking me somewhere, always busy!!!  We haven't had our first fight or even disagreement!  We get along great!!!!  He loves my daughter and knows we a re a package deal!  He has been staying at my house for about a month now and they broke ground on his new house he is having built!  He has tossed out a comment or two about me "staying" there as well!  I told him yesterday, well, text :),  that I was really happy for him and that I would be sad when he moved into his new house and he text "shit, your going too!"  He said he was planning on asking me, he wanted both Tay and I there too!  We spoke on the phone for a bit and he stated that it's bound to happen the way our relationship has been growing!  I look at the future and I see him in it, I'm just scared!  I swore to myself that I would never be in the situation that I was in before!  I have my own place, knowing it's mine!  It's a rental, but it gives me a sense of independence that I have not had in a long time!  I know I can't hold on to the past, I will never move forward!  And I know that I don't want to be alone the rest of my life.  It feels RIGHT, but I'm still "gun shy" as they say!  I couldn't ask for a better man or better person!!!  My heart says YES, but my mind is stalled!!!  I guess I should take my own advise, pray and let God show the way! :)

Been talking with several other fellow Personal Trainers today and was reminded how simple it is to get healthy and in shape!  I know this, but seem to be finding excuses these days why I can't get back where I was last year, which is ONLY about 10lbs. lighter!  It is as simple as a balanced diet and consistent workouts, no excuses!!!  THIS, I know also!  So why am I having so much trouble????  I have found myself looking for that "quick fix" that I know does not exist!!!  As we get older, our bodies don't burn fat nor build muscle as fast or as easy as it used to.  You have to put in a little more work and eat less, less meaning less CRAP!  So, that cookie, coke, beer ect. that you may over indulge in will show up!!!!  I know, that's not what you want to hear, but it's a fact!  If you REALLY want to get in shape and be in the best shape of your life, it's not too late and your never too old!  I did it last year at 42!  There are many home workout programs that DO work, if you put in the work!  I think that part is easy and FUN!!!  The hardest part is the diet part!  I really hate that word!  It should become a way of life....the way you eat everyday!  Diets don't work, simply because once you get to where you want to be, you go back to old habits and guess what happens??????>>>>> it comes right back!!!  When my life took a 360 degree turn, I got sloppy with my meals, wasn't consistent with my workouts and over about 4 months, I had lost what I had worked so hard for last year!  It was that easy!  I know that it's going to take twice as long (if I stay true) to get back there, plus factor in another year added to my age!  BUT, I can do this and so can you!!!!  SO, I challenge you to jump on board with me.  I have learned over the years accountability is a huge factor in getting where you want to be!  I remember I used to text people to remind them to go workout, and in turn, how could I do that and not go workout myself?  Just remember, there is no magic pill, no magic diet and no "quick fix" or we would all be HOT!!!!!  You never get anywhere in life without hard work, same applies to your body!!!  If you need any advise on workouts or nutrition, please message me via FB or email me at sherylltravis@rocketmail.com!  Me helping you, helps me to stay focused and motivated!!!!

Happy Tuesday!  It's going much better than yesterday!  Nothing better than starting the day off on the wrong foot with your mother!  I went to the Ranger game on Sunday and when I dropped Tay off at my mom's I forgot her night meds!  I went by the store and picked up some Benedryl, knowing it would be ok for it to be given to help her sleep!  My mom was upset at me for forgetting the meds.  I offered my key for her to get them, she lives about 12 miles from me, but she didn't want to!  I felt bad and text several times to check on Tay and she text saying she was fine.  Yesterday on the way to pick her up and take her to VBS, mom said she was up til 2am.  I asked why, she said she slept til 6pm the day before!  Well, at that point I was upset.  Meds or not, if a kid, or adult for that matter, sleeps til 6pm they are not going to go to bed at their regular bedtime.  So, at that point I was upset!  I felt like she was putting the blame on me for Tay not sleeping.  So I had to leave work several times to get Tay where she needed to be yesterday, which caused me to miss work and find a sub for my class!  I will admit, I was hard headed and could have resolved all of this, but I wasn't going to give in!  All is well today, but I should know better than to argue with my mom.  It's like arguing with your spouse........your not going to win!!!  Don't get me wrong, I love my mom with all my heart and I wouldn't make it through each week with out her help with Tay!  This was a time I should have kept my mouth shut and and went on about my day and it would all pass!  I try to approach most things these days with that outlook! Some things are not worth getting upset over or upsetting others.  We waist too much time in our lives being angry or upset with others as well as ourselves over things that we won't remember later on anyway!  So take things people say or do with a grain of salt!  Sometimes they don't realize they say it anyway!

What a fantastic day yesterday!!!!  The weekend was not long enough!!!  Started out with a garage sale Friday and Saturday morning!  Did ok, but has decided that they really are not worth it!  By the time you factor in all the time it took to get things ready, the time you spent actually doing it and the time and gas it took to take tables back, drop off leftovers at Goodwill, ect., you REALLY don't average a very good hourly!  PLUS it takes away from your weekend!  It seems much easier to just go directly to Goodwill and get a $500 donation certificate! :)  It amazes the people that steal from garage sales too.  Had a large group come in and I watched them as closely as I could, notice a lady walk away and drop something.  It was 2 crosses that go on a necklace!  I continued to watch her and as they went over to my mom to pay for a 10 cent item, she got change out of her purse and put the crosses IN her purse!  Didn't pay for the crosses, which were only priced at 25 cents!  They walked away!!  Later on, I told my mom about it and she asked "why didn't you say something to them?"  I told her simply this....I know someone else was watching her as well and He will take care of it in His own way!  You never know about people these days and what they are capable of doing, so why take the chance over 50 cents?  I would have given them to her if she would have just asked!  I can look back on things I did in my past and feel comfortable when saying "what comes around, goes around"!  None of us are perfect and we all make bad decisions and judgements, but for the most part we are in control of our actions!  Things that are conscious decision, wrongly knowing it is not right, will pay later.  And I'm sure we can all related to those consequences at one time in our lives!  I try as much as I can to do the right thing, do onto others as I would have done to me!  Try going out of your way today to so something good for someone else........you will be amazed how great YOU will feel!!  Happy Monday!!!

Ever have those times when everything is going great and you find yourself looking for something to go wrong?  I've always been told to learn from your mistakes and from your experiences!  So with that being said, I tend to reflect back on the past and use it in the future.....I just use the wrong things!!!  It's hard to not let the things that have happened to you get in the way of what's going to happen to you!  Thinking too much is a problem I just can't seem to "shake" sometimes!!!  I heard during a sermon that "God wants for you what you want for you, if you only knew what he knows"!!!  I love that!  So my goal today is live in the moment and do the task that He lays before me and do my VERY best NOT to think too much!!!  I may even have to put a sign on my desk that says "STOP Thinking" !!!!

We all have our up and down days for sure! Found out last night when I went to pick up Tay's medicine it was going to cost me $200 a month!  Needless to say, I bought 2 to get her through today!!!  I went home and dug through documents.  She has insurance through her dad's work and a back up ins. through the state due to her disability!  Neither of the insurances they had on file would cover the RX!!  After digging through many documents, I found another card sent to me through the state.  Had a sleepless night worried how I was going to pull this off if it remained uncovered.  Went straight to the pharmacy this morning and the system was down that linked to the insurance verification.  I went and sat in my car and prayed!!!  Just found out a few minutes ago, it is covered with a $5 co-pay!!!!!!  Thank you Jesus!!!  I was already trying to figure out what I could do without, so she could have these meds!!!!  My daughter has ADHD and mild Touretts!  We struggled much through the school year with her due to this, and  her life circumstances!  We started in December seeing Drs, getting EEGs, waiting for a referral to a Dr. that would treat her at her age and there are not very many!!  Saw a Dr in Lufkin, he put her on a mild dosage med and referred us to a Pediatric Neurologist.....that took another 3 months and finally got in at Plano!  We started her on this new med, low dosage.  We saw some improvements, but still wasn't where she needed to be.  We just had a follow up last week, raising her dosage, sent us home with some samples and now we are  starting to see some improvements.  So to not get the RX would have set her back, so I AM SO thankful we were able to get them!!!!!!!!!   There is no one more important to me than my baby girl!!!  I used to often wonder what the the TRUE meaning of love was and what it felt like, when she was born.........I finally felt it!  There is nothing I wouldn't do or sacrifice, for her well being and her happiness!  My self needs and wants come after hers!!! Having her in my life is not a burden...........it is a true blessing!  I thank God everyday for him giving her to me!!!!!!!!!!

Just watched an amazing sermon on the website of my old church!  Really miss it!  It's been hard to find a church here that I just "click" with!  On another note.....the perils of divorce!  My baby girl came home yesterday after being gone for 4 days!  I never ask detailed questions about her visit, just things like "did you have fun?"  "what did you do fun?" and "did you see Kenlie?" (her BFF)  It always seems after a few hours we talk and she tells me things about her dad, ect.  Most things are common things about him and his girlfriend/roommate, things he may have bought or just general info.  This time she told me something I didn't like or find appropriate!!!  I tried not to make a big deal out of it, hoping she would soon forget (that is an advantage at that age).  As I carried on through the evening, I thought to myself "how do I handle this?"  "do I say anything?"  Knowing the personality of my Ex, it's better left unsaid!  One thing my lawyer told me was as bad as you want to, you can't parent from here!  Meaning, I have to let him parent her when she's there!!  It's a hard thing to get used to!!  It drives me crazy not knowing where she is and what she is doing!  THAT is the hardest part!!!  And I wish I could say it gets easier, but it doesn't!!!  The sermon I watched was about prayer and how to pray.  I'm no expert, but I never asked for anything, except to watch over her while she is away from me, and then I put all my doubts, the things in life that I don't understand and any fears in His hands!!!!  When the thoughts of divorce came about and I knew I was unhappy, I prayed everyday and simply prayed "Father, I don't know what to do, where to go or what I'm going to do when I get there, but I'm putting all this in Your hands.  You know what is best for me and my baby girl and I trust you.  Please show me the way and I will follow, Amen"  That simple!!!  I took life one day at a time, whatever was to happen was happening for a reason, good or bad!!!  And I found myself moving forward one day at a time!!  I know there is a reason I'm in East TX now, living where I am and doing what I do.  I miss Fort Worth deeply, but I have been shown a million reason to stay right where I am.  Again, I'm no preacher, just sharing how faith will show you the way!!!  If you just let it!!!!

It's my Tuesday!!!  Positively thinking it WILL be a great week!!!  I have found that if you always remain positive, things in the end will be positive!  After all, negative thinking and worrying isn't going to make things any better or make your day better!!!  I know sometimes it looks as though there is no answer or end to situations you find yourself in at times.  I can't tell you how many times I thought the same thing, but I look back and remember how I got there and how I got through it and it reminds me of just how strong I am!!!  As long as we take the positive out of it, learn from it and strive to make it better.......WE survive it!!!!  I'm no preacher, but I do have faith and if you find yourself down, put it in God's hands!!!  He knows what is best for all of us!!!!  Sometimes we have to go through the "crap" so to speak, to learn and realize where and what we should be doing with our lives!!!  It's kind of like teaching our kids lessons (most of which we have all learned ourselves) by grounding them. taking there favorite things away or time out!!!  We are in learning  mode everyday for the rest of our lives, who is going to teach us our lessons????  He is!!!  So don't ever give up hope!  I can speak from experience, it gets better!!!!  My whole life changed 8 months ago and I honestly didn't know what to think!  I went in "auto pilot" mode and just did what I had to do...take care of an 8 yr old!  And now I have a good job with great bosses, and wonderful man in my life and a supportive family!  I still have down days, it's not easy raising and supporting a child on a single income, but I always seem to manage and I keep the faith that no matter what happens, God knows what he is doing!!!  So NEVER give up hope, keep fighting and keep going forward, keep praying and I can promise things will get better!!!  Happy Monday!!!

WOW!!!!  Found out 2 more friends are now going through separations or divorces!!!  And they are men!  Crazy!!!  I never once thought about divorce when I got married!  It amazes me how things happen in life!  So glad God is in my life and I can trust in him knowing that he has a plan for me and my baby girl!!  If I'm ever blessed enough to get married again and have another chance at a family, I have learned many valuable lessons and will do ALL I can do to provide happiness, encouragement, support and understanding.....cause it's all that and more!!!!  It's not one sided and it takes both to destroy a marriage!  And it takes BOTH to make a marriage!  And "YES" I said blessed!  Cause it's a blessing to have someone to spend the rest of your life with and have a family!!!!  So don't be soured and become a "man/women" hater, there are some good ones left, they may be damaged a bit, but if you ever find that special someone, Love can be a beautiful thing...............Again!

I never know with Taylor's dad when or what time he is picking her up on the weekends, but I do my best to work with him!  The most important thing after divorce, is the kids!  They are what is most important!  I want her to have a good relationship with her dad, but it's up to him!!!  It would be so much easier to be able to walk away and not deal with the EX, but if you have kids together, they will always be in your life!!!  Hopefully as time goes by, everyone can move on and get along!!!

Hyper FX about to be absorbed, then hitting Bi's and Tri's today!!!  Followed by Spin class!  I love teaching and having a good time in my classes!!!  Wished I would have discovered this talent long ago!!!!  But it's never too late to go after what you want!!!!  I always feel good about myself after teaching a good class, physically and mentally!!!!

Over the past couple of years I have been posting on Facebook many quotes, pics and status updates about events going on in my life!  No matter what seems to be happening, good or bad, it tends to touch someone else.  That someone could be a close friend, old friend or random friend I met on Facebook.  I would get private messages asking about fitness, food or just thanking me for inspiring their lives in some way or another.  I never thought of myself as someone who would be an inspiration to anyone!  I haven't really been through much more than the average things that most people go through in their lives, but I have found that people are attracted to people who have been or maybe going through the same things in life.  They find comfort in knowing that they are not alone and that someone understands how they feel.  We all have been told to write down our feelings and get it out, but who are you going to let it out to?  I decide to create this blog just for that!!!!!!  "BlogEver"  is to ask, quote and just "whatever" you may need to get off your chest that day!  Many of us let it out on Facebook and some don't want to read it or you get blocked or even the "un-friend" takes place!  They still like you, just don't want to hear your problems!  I want my blog to be a place where I share things on my mind and you can too!  If you want to post, please do!  Someone else may be going through the same thing and may have advise, or may even want to vent with you!  Good or Bad...it's a BlogEver!!!!  I will be blogging everyday!  It maybe fitness related, post-divorce issues or about raising my child!  It's a BlogEver!!!!  So please, I'm hoping this will be a way to inspire, give faith and help one another!  God places us in everyday situations!  And with Him by my side, I know I can get through anything!  I feel as we live and learn in this life, we need to help each other.  Every thing we go through, we can learn and use our experience to help each other and maybe make it a little easier for someone else!  So Blog away!!!!!!!!!!!